Letting Go

 I am still shocked it has been over 5 years since I posted. After mom died in March 2009, I struggled to find meaning in everyday life. I experienced grief that took away every good part of my life for a very long time. Each day was an effort at finding who I was without my mom, my muse, my biggest supporter and largest critic.  This uncompromising grief has hijacked my life, my husband and children's time with me. It has hijacked my joy. So in the effort of letting go of the grief, I start talking of the good, the funny, the weird things in life again. Letting go doesn't mean I'm not still grieving. I still miss mom every minute of every day. Sometimes I think she is one of the few people in life who "got me" ... who understood the way my mind works.  No one understands like a mom. But she would want me to move on. To let go of the horrible grief and fully embrace each day. For my husband,  my children and grandchildren (2!) I have already started that process. Now I am writing again.