Sweep Settling In

Despite not liking his crate at night, Sweep had no problem running into the crate with various objects to chew on - like Richard's work boot! His first 5 days were a little rough. He really missed his old family and spent a few days hiding from everything and everyone. We would go find him and pet him slowly - with some massaging - telling him we were ok.

I could hear his answer in my head - but there were no yappy dogs at the other place - why - WHY, did I get the yappy dog? However, she was quite fun when she wasn't stealing the toys away from him. She led him around the yard and taught him that barking is her normal mode of conversation.

Finally, he stuck to his guns. There would be no crate for him. But as he became more comfortable, he started looking for things to chew at night (the mattress, the dirty clothes we put down for him along with the blankets) and anything else he could think of. We knew he had to become comfortable with the crate. Stay tuned for the rest of the story.

Who are you? Where am I?

On September 4th we welcomed Blackmagic's Chimney Sweep (Aka Sweep) into our hearts and lives. We picked him up in Gurnee where we met his breeder as she was attending weekend shows (two back to back wins for her Yay!). We spent the week getting ready for him - and Friday morning set up his crate. Mazie loved the crate. She couldn't wait to get into it. We even set it up for later with sheets, and a cat bed on top! We stood back and said "Wow, it is big!" We know he will fully fill it in 9 months - but initially, Wow, it is BIG.

So off we went to pick up our puppy. He was 9 week old. He was not happy leaving his sister and brothers. We brought him home where he got to meet the yappy daschund and the house. He was quite upset at being without his support system. Alan picked him up and cuddled him in the chair. This look says it all:



WHO ARE YOU AND WHERE IN THE HELL AM I?


He hated his crate. He cried all night - for 2 nights - even with Alan sleeping with him. So we put him on a leash tethered to the bed and he finally slept all night long. I finally get some sleep today.

Xindi Completes Puppy Kindergarten

Xindi did a 7 week class of puppy kindergarten. The topics covered housebreaking (she did great), chewing and mouthing (well we can see how well that worked); House manners (jumping, barking, stealing items, etc.); basic obedience, puppy confidence building and the like.

At the beginning of class we were doing great only 1 or 2 accidents in the house, crated all night and sleeping most of it, and generally doing well.

At the end of class; we have no accidents in the house, Xindi has perfected the art of sleeping with mom in the big bed (crate, what crate?) walks herself with growly sounds on the leash and basically laughs at us each time we rein her in. The private trainer has confirmed - yes it is all my fault. She has to be at least 6 months for obedience but there is a class in between for her to try. I will be learning along the way. The question remains, what else she has to teach me?

She will start Puppy Foundation Agility in mid September. The possibilities are endless!

Mapping out the Woods

Xindi has been walking in the woods and finding all the good things for her new brother to smell and see. This part of the trail is one of her favorites - it ends in an open field, with a boarded up cabin and leads to a beautiful pond and picnic area. This must have been someone's hunting grounds before it was given to the County. The trails are nice - a little up and down in some areas - but a nice picnic and play area for the dogs. Usually we never see anyone when we come - today we came across two other dogs. We can't wait for Sweep to join us on our daily walks.

More Xindi Stories

While we wait to see if the Illinois house sells, we amuse ourselves with a very determined puppy. She is our first hound dog - our other dogs were bulldogs and mastiffs - all laid back - easy going. This one has a determination that is both endearing and amazing at the same time. Right now she is making random jumps at the old cat who has decided to have a lie down in her bed. Watch for that video later. She has enough toys though - when we don't take enough toys out, she goes to the basket and trys to pull them out herself.

Xindi eats at a fast pace. So we had to feed her in a muffin tin. Now instead of finishing her meal in 20-30 seconds, it takes her a few minutes. I use a piece of kibble to have her sit - then put down the tin. The sit is not really a sit, but we both try and pretend it is. She is in dog training classes and goes to puppy parties on Sundays now for socialization as she likes dogs better than people I think. We took her to the concert in the square - she is learning not to bark at people. She is so tiny - everyone towers over her. It is just a process.


We got her a car seat for dogs. This one was for dogs up to 20 pounds and cost $30.

I think we should have bought the 30 pound one - as it had a storage area under the seat. I like this style because both our cars are set up so that this seat works. It hangs from the top then has a strap that goes around the entire middle of the seat. The other style was more like an infant car seat - which needed a center seat belt that none of our cars have. You can't leave them unattended in it, as they are strapped in, so when we had to run into a store, we let her loose. Well on a stop to the local Wal-Mart, Alan ran in and she and I sat in the car. In this picture, she is mad because she is clipped in and can't get out. She knows it is possible - and was demanding her freedom. Like a baby, when the car moves, she sleeps, when it stops, she wants out of her seat.

Xindi and Bella Play

Xindi is growing rapidly. Next week she goes to the vet for her 3rd shots and then she can join classes, walk in the woods and enjoy life in the wider area than our big backyard. She loves Bella next door, but we keep them apart until she grows a little more. Bella is rapidly trying to dig a tunnel under the fence so they can be together. Now I just have to keep her from getting a pudgy belly. Her collar finally fits - and we are ready to begin leash training in earnest. We have walked the sidewalk (well, I walked, she carried her leash in her mouth). Here is Xindi and Bella.

Xindi's First Video - and missing Q

We are still coping with the loss of Q. It is harder than we expected. We have had advice of "Don't rush into another puppy too soon" to "the sooner you get another puppy, the better you will feel". We agree with the the sooner the better. We are dog people. When you are dog people, being without a dog is a terrible existence. I have Xindi, but Alan needs his mastiff and I do too. So, the wait begins. This one will be hard. Puppies are due the first week of July. We are wonderful parents and hope one has our name on his collar. We ordered a dog kennel. A puppy will need one until trained. It arrives tomorrow. (Plus it has a roof and will protect Xindi from flyng hawks.)

Anyway I took a video this morning - she is quite the adventurer and found the cat's soft ball. Here is the video. To make it smaller, I converted it to 50% for Youtube before uploading.

In Loving Memory of our 'Q' 10.01.99-06.11.09

Today we made the final decision to put Q to sleep. Oh, we had made the trip to the vet several times before. But we always came home with more medications, more dosages, pain killer prescriptions called in to Wal-Mart. Scroll through my blog for lots of Q stories. It is too unbearable to post any of the the last few week's worth of pictures.

He was our buddy, our puppa-roos, Alan's best bud. He loved us unconditionally and gave us the meaning to real acceptance. We spent more money on him than on ourselves. We went into debt for his TPLO surgeries, (yes, 2 of them), agonized over his health, took vacation days just for him, and made sure his training was exemplary so he would be loved and accepted most places. Our only wish would have been to erase his pain and extend his life longer than is 9+ years.

We love you Q, our hearts are aching tonight and will for a long time to come.

WHERE TO BURY A DOG

There is one best place to bury a dog.
If you bury him in this spot, he will come to you when you
call....over the dim frontiers of death, and down the
well-remembered path, and to your side again. And though
you call a dozen living dogs to heel, they shall not growl
at him, nor resent his coming, for he belongs there. People
may scoff at you, who see no lightest blade of grass bent by
his footfall...who hear no whimper; people who may never
really have had a dog. Smile at them, for you shall know
something which is hidden from them, knight is well worth
the knowing. The one best place to bury a good dog is in the
heart of his master.

--Author Unknown

Xindi Arrives - And Dad Wins Her Heart

We picked Xindi up today. She weathered the drive home okay. 'Q came with and was fine with her in the car, fine with her in the yard, fine in the house. He was fine all the way up until she whined in the crate and that made him nuts. Not sure what the whine said, but he did not like it. Must be like a baby crying. The cats are interesting too. Neffie took the peer around the corner and think about stalking her. She is 1/4 the size of the Neffie and 1/2 the size of Mazie. Mazie is always present but I don't trust her an inch. She won't play. The puppy is tiny compared to her - but one day, the puppy will be bigger. It is just a matter of time.

The first meal together set the pecking order. The puppy fit in - she dropped her food on the floor behind her. Mazie had food on the floor in front of her. They did well with the spillage. She will figure out the routine soon enough. She seems so small next to Mazie. Neffie boycotted dinner.

After dinner playtime then I held her for an hour nap. (I think we'll be awake all night). Then outside. Now comes dad's turn. She struggles to get to his shoulder - he is slightly reclined. And 20 minutes later she is still there. She was so proud of herself - the first picture was when she first was climbing behind his head. THen she just put her head down for the nap. He said it is not too comfortable.


So as I go to post this, she is still napping on his shoulders.

To our beloved Guinea Pig, Charlie

Charlie came to us as a replacement for a hamster that had died soon after we got him. We were browsing through Pet Smart, checking out the hamsters when I couldn't take my eyes off little Charlie. And while I "blamed" Alyssa, it was really me that had fallen for the little guy. He cost a whole $28.99 plus tax. The cage and materials would run us another $100. But home he came that day. He started his life with us in Alyssa's room. But within 9 months he was moved into the Dining Room / Living Room and there his personality blossomed. He began his TV watching career, becoming hooked on all my favorite realty TV shows. From me, he learned that people were cruel in Big Brother and stabbed each other in the back in Survivor. Together we remarked through the seasons about "didn't they learn from watching last years show!!!" He enjoyed the racing and rivalries in the Amazing Race and cheered for my favorite teams while turning his nose up at Alan's favorite teams. He knew who to root for. We quickly learned how to shop for just the right leafy romaine lettuce and sorted through the bags of carrots for the largest and orangest of the bunch.

But the tide changed when he moved to Wisconsin. Soon he rooted for the Packers and squeaked for Alan's shows more than mine. He had become one with Alan while I lived in Illinois house alone. I did remind him of the night I kept him warm when the electricity went out and we had to wrap up in heavy blankets and I held him inside my layers of clothing and blankets, next to my body through the 16 hours of no electricity, only releasing him to his cage for potty breaks. I got some thanks for that. We began to get strange looks from our new Wisconsin neighbors as we shopped at the new grocery store discussing was this head of Romaine better than that head of Romaine for Charlie. And which parsley would he like this week - the curly or the Italian flat.

He became quite the player in the new house. He demanded his share of breakfast and dinner. What was most amazing was how he bonded with Q and the new kitten. With Q he had no fear, and would play tug of war over his lettuce and carrots. Q always won the carrot. Charlie always won the lettuce. You would think he would want to run and hide, but he stood his ground. Feeding time the animals and people were just opportunities for him to get another people treat. And each morning a big handful of hay provided lots of romping in and about it and munching to keep his teeth and digestion in good health. I was the hay giver. Alan the breakfast and dinner provider.

Then when Mazie joined us she took to laying on his cage, batting at him and spending hours on top of his cage just being with him. When Charlie came out to visit with Alan or watch TV, Mazie made sure to join him on Alan's lap. Mazie would lick Charlie, Charlie would bite Mazie. The last time they were out together, Mazie got 8 grooming sessions in and Charlie 8 bites before Mazie thought, "Hey, maybe it's play time" and we separated them. But each visit out they needed some time together. This picture was taken 4/14/2009. Charlie has aged quite a bit in just a year - and in the last week he has become very ill. He started crying all the time. He would stand over his food bowl and try to eat but could not. He would nibble the lettuce but could not chew it up. Picking him up, all you could feel was bones, when we had once been told our little piggy was, in fact, overweight.

So Tuesday, the vet told us he had developed advanced arthritis in his jaw that would not allow him to bring his molars together to chew or swallow. The vet said Charlie was starving to death. He had lost quite a bit of weight in just one week and had become very thin. From Tuesday to Saturday I had noticed such a difference, I had called the vet to make the appointment hoping it was just a bad tooth. The news broke my heart. The vet said we could only buy him a week with pain medication - and then the starving and suffering would begin again. So, we let him go with dignity and ended his suffering in a humane way. It broke my heart to say goodbye. They are with us only a short time. The number of pictures in our photo library tell a full life story of his days over the last 5 + years. Rest in peace Charlie, we all loved you.

Spring, Saved a Dog, Getting a Puppy

I am so glad Spring is here and Summer is almost upon us. As we feel the heat descend - the rain to fall and create it's own hassles, I promise to look at this photo and say, Thank you to God for the flowers, the warmth on my skin and the safe drive. I love this drive though.

Winter Photo:

Friday, May 22nd, the drive on the highway was nuts - everyone trying to leave town for Memorial Day. I turned off the highway for my 25 minutes on rural roads to reach home and each time it is like taking a breath of relief. 2 lane rural roads - farms, horses, gentle rolling lands - it is absolutely gorgeous. Once I turn on Highway D, I pass through a small town - really small town America, cross a river, a stop sign and post office and then enter the curved areas where this picture was taken.

(Spring Photo)

Once I came out of the winding tree area, there in the middle of the road running toward me (45 mph zone) was a golden lab, wagging his tail. I hit my hazards and stopped - whereupon 4 other cars stopped behind me - rush hour in rural Wisconsin. I opened my door and in jumped Roscoe. Luckily Roscoe had tags and as luck would have it, he used the same vet we did. (Which is funny, when we lived in Illinois we drove 30 minutes North to Wisconsin to use this vet - then we moved an hour north into Wisconsin and now drive 30-45 minutes south to the vet still). Anyway, fifteen minutes later, Roscoe was reunited with his owners. I went on my way and felt good. It was a great start to the weekend.

We have known for months that Q's declining health meant he would not be with us too much longer. On March 5th, the three of us, Alan, the vet, and I hovered between the life/death decision - to put him to sleep. In tears I asked the vet, could we just make him comfortable - I can't lose him and my mom the same week. My spirit was too fragile to handle the double blow. The vet said he could go a little longer. And more rimadyl was prescribed. Now he takes Tramadol also - and some days are good and some days are not as good. On the good days, he barks at the fence and runs with Bella (the neighbor dog).

On his bad days, he just sleeps and groans a little. In any case, we have a puppy coming. We didn't expect him to be here. But I think he heard us and decided he needed to stick around. I fell in love with Berlina (Sharon and Alyssa's Doxie in England) and mine was born in early April.

We have a name picked, but have to make sure it fits her! I will release more details later. She arrives in mid June. Stay tuned for details!

To My Mom

My mom passed away today (March 7th) at 66 years old after a long battle with COPD and end stage lung disease. She was a smoker - she started smoking at the age of 12 in 1954 when smoking was glamourous and it was hard to find someone who didn't smoke. I remember the special promotions for buying so many cartons of cigarettes and you would get a t-shirt or special item if you sent in the box tops. I used to walk the 8 blocks to the neighborhood grocery store to buy her cigarettes. No one blinked an eye in 1974, 1975, 1976, 1977, 1978 - all the kids did it.

Then in November 2006, the drug store delivered the oxygen tanks. They gave her signs that said "Caution, Oxygen in Use, No smoking, No Open Flames". The only thing that stopped then was the lit candles. The smoking, well that was too hard. 50 years of smoking would take some time to end. I took a picture of the sign in front of the ash tray. We laughed - but it wasn't funny. Three months later a severe bout of pneumonia would signal the start of the end. By the end of April 2007 the hospital doctors told her and us the news. That her time was limited. She was placed in the hospice program and that was the beginning of the end.

But mom was a fighter and she laster longer than anyone thought. Two years in hospice - a record I think. She couldn't go out anymore - but she could talk on the phone, play games on the DS and sometimes make it to the computer to write the occasional note and play Pogo. Her friends from Pogo kept up her badges hoping for that occasional glimpse of Tiffers. Then in December she made the decision she wanted a puppy and that gave her the will to wait. The puppy came January 29th. And her decline came rapidly after that. By February 18th we all knew the end was near. What was so tough was the saying goodbye over and over. As she stopped eating I knew each time was probably the last. The hospice nurses and aides were the best people I have ever met. Being in the program for two years you really get to know people. They took exceptional care of mom and I can't even begin to say enough wonderful things about the home health aides that took daily care of mom from Itasca Hospice and the nurses visited. They took care of dad too.

In the end though it was just mom and dad. A lifetime of love. No life is perfect - but for them, they were truly perfect for each other.

More important than her disease though is the person that she was.

Mom was an expert seamstress. Growing up she made the most amazing dolls, clothing and other items. People would beg her to make them a goose or bear. When her dad died, mom stopped making dolls. She lost her inspiration - her muse. She still made clothes and other items. The kids have these gigantic Christmas stockings (3 feet tall at least) because Grandma felt they needed giant ones filled each year. And thanks to that, stockings is their favorite memory of every Christmas.

Mom loved the computer, gaming and meeting people. She loved playing games and later in life meeting people on-line. She was interested in everyone's lives and everyone mattered to her. I grew up playing card games with my aunts and my mom. Later on, with mom and her friends. Card night was always a favorite night. In 8th grade we got the Atari system and so came the obsession with video games. Mom loved all games. When the computer age came about in the 90's it took a bit to get her into it - she had just fought and won against ovarian cancer - a lucky break - stage 1, no chemo. Then the move to Minneosta right after the surgery. But the computer opened up the next new world to her. She found an on-line community of people to make friends with - people who loved to play games and were on at all hours of the day and night.

She made some great friends on-line and she cared deeply for them and what was happening to them. For a few years she played the Sims Online and met a woman named Lauri (SalemSky) who developed ovarian cancer. Mom was so concerned for her and sent her packages and called her until contact was lost. She started playing Pogo and found the Angie, Goofey, Mollie, Laurie, China and so many others - I don't know them all, but mom did, and she didn't forget a detail.

Finally mom loved her family the most - Richard, Alyssa and AJ were always on her mind. When AJ was in Iraq she kept his picture by her bedside to keep him close and in her prayers. She was so happy Alyssa was in school in London. she wanted more for Alyssa than we ever had in life. RIchard was her baby boy - and for Richard she wanted the world. She kept on me to make sure he had all he needed. Her wish was that he would move to Minnesota and go to school there - just to be close to her - but knew he was better here for job and school opportunities.

Almost every single day we talked on the phone. It took nothing at all to bring about a laugh or a debate about what was on TV. Any reality TV show, we'd call and take bets, do you think he'll do ... or she'll.... and now I know there is someone in Heaven there to do that with her.

People will always remember mom for her love of the casinos - it was another big game to her - with changing machines and bonus plays. She loved the monkeys and rockets. It was not about the money, but about the game play. The other thing everyone will always remember is ever-present wraps / shawls. She would wear them summer and winter. She could never stay warm enough. We are alike in that respect. She learned to make them them and anyone could stay warm who came to visit.

God called another angel home. I love you mom. I just don't can't say goodbye, so I won't. Say hi to Grandpa for me. I leave you with Amazing Grace and one of my favorite songs sung by George Strait:

You'll Be There

From the beginning of creation, I think our maker had a plan
For us to leave these shores and sail beyond the sand
And let the good light guide us through the waves and the wind
To the beaches in a world where we have never been
And we'll climb up on a mountain, y'all we'll let our voices ring
Those who've never tried it, they'll be the first to sing

Whoa, my, my
I'll see you on the other side
If I make it
And it might be a long hard ride
But I’m gonna take it
Sometimes it seems that I don’t have a prayer
Let the weather take me anywhere
But I know that I wanna go
Where the streets are gold
‘Cause you'll be there
Oh, my , my

You don’t bring nothing with you here
And you can’t take nothing back
I ain’t never seen a hearse, with a luggage rack
So I've torn my knees up prayin’
Scarred my back from fallin’ down
Spent so much time flying high, till I’m face first in the ground
So if you're up there watchin’ me, would you talk to God and say,
Tell him I might need a hand to see you both someday

Whoa, my, my
So I'll see you on the other side
If I make it
And it might be a long hard ride
But I’m gonna take it
Sometimes it seems that I don’t have a prayer
Let the weather take me anywhere
But I know that I wanna go
Where the streets are gold
‘Cause you'll be there
Oh, my , my
Cause you'll be there
Oh, my ,my

Musings of the New Year

Wow, haven't posted since October 1st. Not that I haven't had anything to say, I just haven't said it. But someone told me they missed my musing , however rambling they may be. So here I am again. 2008 rolled out like a lion. I managed 2 plane trips in November - one to Florida to visit my friends and had a great time and one to London to visit my baby girl. We spent Thanksgiving there and of course I had a cold. I couldn't go to Europe without one, it just wouldn't be right.

I fell in love with, (okay, okay, I admit it, I called her dog ugly) Berlina puppy. The little miniature dappled black and tan daschund puppy they have. We went to training class with them and when she was in school Alan and I or just Alan one day walked Berlina in the park. The "park" is Battersea Park in London. Full of ponds and in the summer, you can even rent paddle boats. It is very large and I was taken to all of Alyssa's favorite spots. The tree behind her is a "Strawberry Tree". Yes a tree, not a bush or plant and it does not grow strawberries. It had a sign - some type of hybrid. They have quite a few unique trees in the park. This is her favorite. She came home for Christmas and it was wonderful. She is now back at school in the middle of her second year of the program. She may stay through the summer months - and roll right into her third year for completion.

But January rolled in and here we are. I was talking to a work colleague I had not seen in a while last week and we exchanged the usual pleasantries, "how are your kids, how old are they now, what are they doing?" etc. We talked about hers in pre-school and mine in London. She told me how she lived a time in California and just missed her mom so much she came home after 2 years. She said "sometimes there is just no replacing mom, even with a phone call". And, so I realize how short my time is with my mom. She continues to decline in hospice care. The lack of oxygen to her brain causes her to be confused at times. But overall her mind is sharp. I want to remember the fun times for my children while they are still fresh in my mind. Some days, it is hard. This song keeps playing on my IPOD - like a bruise you have to press. "The Best Day" by Taylor Swift. There are two areas of the lyrics I find poignant - the chorus and an area where she talks about a bad day at school and how growing up (she is 19 in real life now) comes the knowledge of how much our parents love us no matter what.

I don't who I'm going to talk to now at school
I know I'm laughing on the car ride home with you
I don't know how long it's going to take to feel ok,
but I had the best day with you today.

Now I know why the trees change in the fall
I know you were on my side even when I was wrong
and I love you for giving me your eyes
staying back and watching me shine and
I did not know if you knew
so I'm taking this chance to say
That I had the best day with you today.


So from time to time you may find a memory story here - not every story had a "successful" ending, but my parents were there for me each step of the way. And here I am today, successful with 3 great kids. I have my own foibles - they make me unique and to a large part, I too have my parents to thank for those.

Thank you mom and dad. I love you.

Four Red Dresses

I was 14 years old and used to going to work with my mom and watching her. She was a "keypunch operator". She had been doing this job since I was old enough to have memories. The cards would whiz by in the machine. I have to wonder how many fingers were lost getting those cards out. When RJ, my little brother was born in 1972, the company moved a machine into our house. My mom always held higher positions. She was the fastest puncher I think ever. I remember being 9 years old, sitting in the dining room watching her work at 9 at night. This was breaking new ground - to move a large machine into a home so a new mom could stay home with her kids. So when I was 14 she decided I should learn how to keypunch, which had just moved into the "data processing realm" but still held onto the term key punching. They had "floppy disks" that were the size of half the desk that you opened a hatch on the edge of the desk and slid the disk in. Entered a few codes and then started entering the jobs of the day. The company approved hiring me part-time and I received an official work permit. Everyone was paid an hourly wage at this job. My highest hourly wage was $4.00. I learned a trade for life. In High School they mandated typing. I would have everything typed within minutes of the assignment while my classmates were still pecking out the keys. Finally, the teacher just gave me a pass to the library for the practice sessions.

That company closed and I picked up a another keypunch job. It "paid on production" the faster you typed and entered the data the more you were paid. But it had to be accurate. After you entered the data, the work went to the checker and your errors were marked and your pay was reduced. You learned to be accurate. To even be hired you had to have a minimum keystroke of 10,000 strokes per hour. I had reached 12 or 13,000 per hour after accuracy checks. Computers measured everything. Pay was uneven though, a cold could reduce your speed, the company having less work the day you worked, and finally this company closed too. I fond other part-time work in retail and waitressing over my teen years.

At age 19, I applied for a major automotive company in their corporate offices. The job entailed keypunching and cataloging the computer tapes that came from the work. I did not have an extensive wardrobe. It was mainly jeans and t-shirts. But I had one dress I had bought for something. I knew I needed a dress. I was thin, but not evenly proportioned. Dresses did not fit me well. Mom always said I could wear Gucci and look like K-Mart, so she would sew my clothes for me to get a better fit. (She was an expert seamstress and made my first wedding gown and all attendants dresses).

So I had this one store bought dress. It was a deep red with a white collar. When I arrived, the look on the interviewer's face was priceless. I still remember it today, and it took me 20 years to say it was priceless. The interviewer was a male in his mid 40's and was antagonistic for the whole interview. At one point he insisted I tell him what letter was above the letter P on the keyboard (it is not the - if you look at your keyboard - it was different on keyboarding keyboards). I told him I never look at a keyboard, however, would be glad to test into the position. He finally gave me the answer as to what was above the "P". I explained to him that good keyboarders never looked at a keyboard. They should know the positions of the alpha keys, but recall of each character was not necessary, it was instinctive. I don't think this man could have done the job himself. It was a bad interview and I did not get the job. I ended up applying for and working for Wickes Credit Corporation where I learned many things about corporate life; moving around positions, losing a promotion in one area and finding out after a promotion to bill collector that there was one job in the world I did not want to do.

Mom was there for me when I came home from the interview - the first time I had been devastated by the establishment and treatment in corporate America. She told me how to dust myself off and try again. She suggested I not wear red again.

Second Red Dress:

Alan and I took a trip to Lake Geneva, Wi and stayed at the Hilton. (Now a condo unit). I didn't have anything to wear for this trip. (not unusual for me as a single mom with no money). So my friend Dawn lent me her red patchwork dress, size 8 or 10 (sigh). It was April 1992 but still really cold in Wisconsin. This dress had long sleeves and finally I had a dress that looked decent on me. She insisted I take it for the weekend. Alan took me on a horse-drawn carriage ride. That night he told me he loved me. Wow. He still has a picture of me in that red patchwork dress.


Third Red Dress:

At age 28, Alan asked me to be his wife. Wow, I had vowed to never remarry, and had 2 small children - he had 1. But the chemistry and love between us. I jumped. I said yes. We held a small church wedding and a pizza party for family and close friends. It was perfect. The minister wore an eye patch. The bride wore a red dress. Wait - the bride wore RED! I looked everywhere for a dress and they all looked hideous on me. I finally found this red dress combination silky rayon item. It looked good on me (in comparison to all other dresses) and we (friends and I) bought it. Mom looked doubtfully at it when I came home with it for the wedding. But the wedding was just days away at this point so it would have to do. We celebrated 16 years last October - so yay for the red dress.

Fourth Red Dress:

So flash forward oh 5 years. AJ was graduating from middle school and Rich and Aly in 4th and 6th grade. I had been elected to our local school board for a few years by then. I think at times it was somewhat hard on the kids having a mom on the Board. The school color for the middle school was a nice bright red. I happened to be shopping at one of the yearly clearance sales and found a nice shirt-waist dress at a Department Store marked down from $100 to $27. It was a solid dark/bright red. As I would be handing out diplomas to the 8th graders, it was perfect. I probably looked like a giant tomato with a head on stage (remember, dresses and my 5'3 unporportioned frame) , but I wore that dress for the years I was on the board at every graduation. This time I had matching red pumps! I had learned something about matching colors over the years. I gave it away when I came off the school board. Mom chuckled when she saw the red dress. There was something with me and red.

Today, when you ask Alyssa what her favorite color is, she will tell you red. When I didn't get that job at 19, I was so disappointed. If you asked me what the future held, I couldn't tell you. I just knew someone had looked at me and found me unworthy for that position. It was a decision made by the quality of my clothes. But that didn't stop me from trying again (the Wickes job, and other jobs since). My message - self worth has to be based on what you feel inside and you should never let someone else's personal judgement bring you down. I wish you all the best today and tomorrow.