Today is my daughter's 21st birthday. She is the baby of the family and today is bittersweet for me. We are separated by an ocean. She is pursuing her education in London - her Aunt Sharon is with her today and they are having a wonderful time (6 hours ahead, I have already talked to her). Her boyfriend is flying over on Thursday 3/13 to see her (arriving on 3/14) so he is bringing her present from us. (I am publishing this after her boyfriend arrives with her present).
I had a hard time deciding what to give her for her 21st birthday. In our family, birthdays are not about the amount of money spent and we have already spent quite a bit flying her to London. So I wanted to make it meaningful, but not jewelry as Alyssa is picky (at least with me). In the end, I decided to give her the gift of music. The present in and of itself will be fleeting as time goes; but it is the memory that she is to keep forever. I sent her an IPOD Shuffle in bright red with an inscription. Something witty - that fits her. That she can wear on her lapel and be hip and fun. 21 is the time to be hip and fun.
I also sent her a letter and a CD of songs I selected for meaning - songs about a parents love; facing challenges; my favorite love song for the wish that in the future she finds a husband that will love her and cherish her as much as we do - as much as my husband does for me. It has songs about finding a home and coming home and a song about remembering the child in you - to have fun in life while getting through life. A song that this is her time, and that no matter the struggles in life, she needs to do them anyway. There were only 20 songs I choose - they wouldn't be everyone's choice, but they were the choice I chose for her. I sent Itunes gift cards too. She has her own impressive collection but you can never have too much music in your life. It is music that tells the stories of our lives. It makes us laugh, it makes us cry and it makes us think.
There is so much I wish for all my children. The boys turned 21 while we were working, raising kids, struggling with health issues. They didn't get the letter and the special thoughts and wishes about remembering your faith, remembering your family, finding a home, being involved in your community (you have to stand for something) and taking your time to find those things - don't be in such a hurry. As much as I wish this for her, I wish these things for my sons. My wish for my children - to live a life fully lived - a life with few regrets - and a love to last a lifetime.
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