What Terrifies Me

So Friday, the 19th, Alan calls and said, "Meet me at the Hospital". So, off I went to the hospital. I stopped for gas. I didn't want to beat him there. (I wouldn't want to look like an anxious wife). I do remember thinking, hmmm, it's going to be a long night. I packed my DS9 and a magazine. I didn't pack his game. So later the nurse said to me, it must terrify you to get a call to meet your husband at the hospital.... and I, being my typical self, just shrugged and said No, it's fine. I think I sounded callous. I grew up the daughter of a police officer. My dad did 29 years before retiring - and he had his share of injuries (the stomach bite, the retail theft chase resulting in a broken arm and a score of bumps and bruises from fights with the bad guys). There are always things that can kill us - car crashes, airplane crashes, walking across the street. But really .... there are other things that terrify me - So I took care of Alan all weekend, and thought of the things that terrify me (outside the usual things that terrify everyone). So a brief list of the things that terrify me:

The top of the list are my dreams. I have vivid and strange dreams. I have to be careful about what I watch before I go to bed or I dream strange things. I have the whole "killers chasing me and realistic spy games going on." But the ones that really get me - the dreams about wild animals. The one that woke me up yesterday involved Minnesota, lions and bloody snow. Why did I leave the house, (oh yeah, it was cold in there) and then I was trying to open the car door and the Lion was coming. Hmmm, maybe I need to avoid Minnesota in the winter.

When AJ was in Iraq, I was terrified that I would come home to find the big blue US Government car in the driveway and I would have to be the one to tell Alan or Sharon. Wow, someone was going to be in trouble then. (Remember the messenger boiled in oil). Since he may go back, this could happen. But he should be married by then and the big blue or black car will come to his wife. Truely, I wasn't worried something would happen to him. But I used to tell him, that car better not show up here, so keep your head down.

Apathy terrifies me. People just don't take an interest in what goes on around them until it happens to them. THEN its a big deal. How did this thing happen... and I didn't notice (Answer: Apathy) We are watching the cutting of government services, the lack of government services and a lowering of education in an effort to save on costs where the education budget is typically at least 95% or more of the budget just for teacher salaries (let alone books and programs). Tecnhologies available to the private sector aren't put in place in the government sector, because there is no budget for it. How many areas have Phase II cellualar 911 technology nationwide (let alone Phase 1 which just gives a call back phone number)? Do you know the answer. It will become important when that person can't get help on a road trip through a state somewhere or even in their hometown. In the end apathy by the public is public enemy number 1. You don't have to agree. It is just what terrifies me. I have seen it alot in my 20 years of public service. And I think it is going to just get worse over the next 10.

The BIG thing that terrifies me - The "thing" that gets me on a daily basis (in warm weather) and gives those around me the biggest laugh weighs less than an ounce and has the ability to fly. I can't even kill them. But their bite is very painful and for some people deadly. The dreaded bee/wasp/hornet. They have the ability to reduce me to the maturity level of a 2 year old. (Kill it, kill it, kill it). The bee comes and I can't help it, I do the bee dance as Alan calls it - flap my arms, screech, run away. Just hope IT isn't in the car with me when I am driving. :)

So I don't have a solution - to my nightmares, to my fear of bees or to curing apathy. But I thought I'd write about it for my kids. I don't want them to settle for the status quo but to be a part of the society they live in. Have a voice. Be legal, Be polite, Know the issues, make the ones important to you public in an appropriate manner (some day I'lll tell my Great America and Letter to the Editor's story) and vote every time. (Postnote: Aly - quit rolling your eyes)!

The Rocks In Your Head

What a week! Tuesday started like most normal days. Woke up thinking "Do I really have to get up?" Cautiously open bedroom door try and sneak out without letting the cats in. Then fight the cats who persist in the morning game of "Lets wake daddy, it time for eats" and me insisting (via closed bedroom door) in letting him sleep (he's on swing shift), I managed my way out the door. The coldest day of the year so far I think. As I sat on traffic across from the American Eagle roller coaster, I watched the car behind me with the sinking feeling, he's not going to stop. As I braced for the impact, I prayed he would go onto the shoulder (as many many do). He did not. I was then pushed into the car in front of me. As both gentlemen approached my car, I was amazed, there were 4 men, no 6 of them, no 4, no 8 no 4 of them. Really there were just 2. The instant vertigo and nausea was pretty bad. The shoulder neck pain was mild in comparison. Lucky though the car was not pretty bad. So a trip to the ER (emergency room) was in order. Cervical collar on, no spinning, take collar off, spinning and dizziness. So I was sent home for rest and recuperation. No real explanation from the ER as to why I was so very dizzy.

The next day would shed light on this event. Off to my regular doctor for a final checkup. I was okay. The dizziness. Well, that was easy. It was the rocks in my head. I saw the light dawn in Alan's eyes. (THAT explains everything I live with). So the doctor then explained that we all have rocks in our heads and they shifted during the sudden movement of the accident. (The rocks are in the middle ears). My symptoms fit with the vertigo of the rocks moving. Over the course of the day, the symptoms slowly abated and now I am fine.

Neffie enjoyed my stay at home. I rested on the couch with blankets and the cat. (She comes to the sound of food being served or the blankets being shook out). She enjoyed it. I fretted about the work I wasn't getting done.

Any medical knowledge I have comes from the internet, grandpa's tales, old wives tales, books I memorized and things my doctor told me. So rocks in the head - makes perfect sense to me. So the next time you get dizzy, or just feel weird in your head, remember, it may just be the rocks in your head.

BTW my daughter thinks I am nuts. I read her this and got the look. I think it must be the look I gave them when they were little and getting into trouble. It usually worked though. I titled this "The Angry Santa" on my Myspace page - well here is the look, ala, the angry santa from when she was 16. Maybe that day her rocks were off. I love her, and it is these pictures that give me such great pleasure. When she finds out I put it here I will probably get me the look again! Have a good weekend everyone.

Germany Again

Alan and Alyssa are planning a trip to Germany. Well, okay, Alan is doing the planning and Alyssa is going with. She is supposed to help, but somehow, it seems to be all one sided right now. Charlie is a little worried that his main source of food is leaving him again. I tried reassuring him that I would be right here (after all, I make sure he has the best bedding, the best hay and the freshest veggies. I just get NO CREDIT for it. Typical mom fare.)



I fed Q at 6:30 (Wheel of Fortune is his timer) and on the sound of the hard food hitting the bowl, Charlie asked for parsley. A few stalks and a pet and he was happy. Then dad came home and after hearing his voice Charlie set up a wheeking. A few more stalks of parsley to let him know he is loved and a promise that Germany is still a month and a half away. He is settling down for the night. I expect one more round of talking and popcorning before finally settling.

That's the nice thing about Guinea Pigs. They are NOT nocturnal. They actually sleep all night long and seem to keep a schedue with us. I don't trust the dog within licking range of him though.

So this Germany schedule looks to be completely different. For one thing they are hoping the Igloo Hotel will be open.. Guests are provided with sleeping bags rated to 40 degrees below zero to sleep in. I, the always cold one, would not want to stay there. Alyssa will turn 20 in Germany and they will post to this blog when they get there. RIGHT ALAN!!!! I have a month to teach them. Wish me well. I'll have to deal with a mad piggie, a crazed=depressed mastiff and completely manic cats. (Did I mention the fat cat begs for food - and learned it from Alan - and the dog didn't beg for food until after seeing the cat do it and when sent to banishment was left wondering "Why Me". So, I am wondering why I agreed to stay home. (Oh yeah, now I remember, promises of a great trip to Key West in May!) So I am off to bed to dream of warmth, sunshine and pleasant times. Have a good night all.

My Overweight Cat

I have an overweight cat. She is 9 years old and her name is Nefertitti but we call her Neffie. She doesn't respond to kitty or any other cute euphemisms to mean "cat". She just respond to Neffie. She will come when she is called but it better involve food. She can be haughty - but does greet company. She is a French Chartreux with beautiful round golden eyes. I think she read the description from the Cat Fancier's web site and decided to live up to it. (Describes them as massive cats, but breed standard says females are to be 10 pounds. Males are the large ones. See http://www.fanciers.com/breed-faqs/chartreux-faq.html.

So for a female who is supposed to weigh in the 10 pound range, my Neffie weighs a whopping 18 pounds. And she is mute. When she tries to meow, her mouth opens but no sounds come out. I know they have vocal cords. But the breed is mute - they just don't talk.

The vet said we need to stop free feeding the cats. (Dry food is always available). With the dry food always available, we split one tiny can of wet cat food a day between our 2 cats. We recently switched to Science Diet light and we think that helped some. We don't free feed the dog, so we decided that after Christmas we would try to move the cats to the dogs's schedule. Alas, the cats have picked up on that schedule and made it their own. This schedule will not allow for the removal of free feeding.
The schedule is:...
1. Dad gets up between 0500 and 0530 hours,
2. Lets the dog out and feeds the dog.
3. Guinea Pig at cage front asking for his breakfast of lettuce, carrots or parsley.
4. Dad gets Charlie, the piggie, his breakfast treat.
5. Dad places the small can of wet cat food on a plate and chops it up.
6. Both cats attack the plate with gusto and Neffie gets the largest share.
7. Peri watches on with sad complacency.

The cats line up outside the bedroom door waiting for dad to get up. If I don't close the door behind me, they wake him up. You would think they were starving to death. So we were planning on how to change them to 2 small feedings a day and keeping Neffie from stealing Peri's food.

Thursday, Alan slept in. He wasn't due at work until 2pm and had a late call Wednesday. So he slept until 9:15 am. Well, he came out of the bedroom to a very very angry Neffie. Our mute, silent French cat, growled and yowled and talked /meowed to him in low threatening tones as he prepared their food. He called me to tell me she was really scary and maybe free feeding may be the best plan after all. He even thinks she put a contract out on the guinea pig. (One more late sleep-in and the piggie gets it). Our cat has been faking it all these years. She has a voice and knows how to use it - menacing to get her way!

So today went okay, woke up to a safe and happy piggie, and cats outside the door. Neffie was very upset again that we slept in - and on a Saturday - how dare we. She meowed and yowled at dad again. So, my life is a comic strip. I live with a combination of Garfield and Get Fuzzy. If I only had the artists talent to draw and write it. The plan is to keep her fat and happy and destructive free.

Oh and BTW, the vet said the guinea pig is overweight and we need to slim him down some. Did you know they screech AKA as wheeking - when they don't get their way. So that will be another story for another day. Hope everyone else's pets are sane and healthy.

How to Torture Your Owner

Weather in Chicago has been decent for January. Came out of work to rain (and of course my umbrella was in the car). Drove home with a quick stop into Circuit City (ahh, that must be what confused the dog). I arrived home and went through the usual manuevers. Open garage, back car towards garage, straighten it out, back it in. It was all good. Close the garage door - and now at this point, I expect 187 pounds of romping, stomping, slobbery fun ready to greet me at the door. All 4 legs prancing in excitement, head swinging a stuffed toy at me. So I came in the house, no dog. Came up the stairs, no dog. Hmmm. House was dark. I was confused. Fear began to grip me. Did a child leave the dog outside? Was on the phone with my mom, talking as I turned on the lights. House was clean. This is a good sign. But no dog. NO DOG! I called his name repeatedly. And no pounding of happiness came towards me.

Then I found a trail of soft dog toys down the hallway. But, no dog. I called him repeatedly. The silence was agonizing. Walked in the bedroom, turned on the light. No dog. Found the cat blinking at me. All squinty eyed, saying Hey, turn off the light. Watcha thinking. Walked around the bed. And there I found THE DOG. No movement. Nothing - Nada. Called his name. Eyes closed, tongue all stuck out. Called him again - No response. Touched him, nothing moved. Then I started to freak out, (thinking, oh, no, you can't die on my watch) yelled and poked him and then he actually snorked and lifted his head up. I almost cried. I had to hang up with mom I was so upset. I really thought he was dead. He now acts as if nothing was actually wrong. I on the other hand, am about to have a nervous breakdown. I just can't be the one to tell hubby his beloved big mastiff has gone to the great beyond. So, I don't know if I have forgiven him yet. Tonite he is all happy. Has his dad and collection of bones. Shaking his head, nuzzling dad, just a very happy and contented mastiff. He is telling us he is ready for bed soon. (If we don't go to bed on time, he goes without us after nagging us a bit and being told to "GO LAY DOWN!) I just hope he is a long-lived mastiff. His muzzle is just starting to turn gray - we need a few more smelly slobby years out of him yet!

Leaving Minnesota

Leaving Minnesota is always heartbreaking for me. I hate leaving my mom - hate the long drive home. This drive was not as long. I drove only as far as the Kalahari Resort in Wisconsin Dells, Wi, where Alan, Alyssa and the Dewitt Family awaited me. I left mom's at 0830 and made it to the Kalahari at 1430 exactly. The road conditions were not as favorable as one would have liked. It started snowing on Friday, cleared for awhile then started sleeting, icing and snowing again Saturday night.

So, during the last drive home - in November, I started a new ritual. Picture taking. Yes, I am one of those crazy people with a camera - and I am the driver. But I should mention... Today, I was the ONLY person on the road. Seriously, I had one person behind me, but they didn't stick around when I stopped in Floodwood for a window cleaning. I didn't dare take a picture before Floodwood, Mn... the road required 2 hands and nerves of steel. I know, you are looking at this picture going, and this was... ? and my answer is... less insane.

Now for the geography, Mom and dad live just outside of Grand Rapids, MN. I drive through Duluth (Hwy 53, Hwy 35N, Hwy 2) and stay on 2 all the way to Hwy 169. It is about 90 miles from Duluth to Mom's driveway - give or take a few miles. All 2 lane roads, with passing lanes to help get around the trucks. Floodwood is about the halfway point and has a few gas stations, a 24 hour store and is lit up on lonely night drives. The picture is just snow covered trees for Alan. He keeps telling me he misses snow.

So we had a great night at the waterpark and everyone really enjoyed themselves. Alan surprised me with a present. A new cell phone. Same plan, same number. Just a new model phone. I need to take it to a Verizon dealer and get everything transferred. Guess what color it is - pick any color - just guess.

Love,
Lorene