My Overweight Cat

I have an overweight cat. She is 9 years old and her name is Nefertitti but we call her Neffie. She doesn't respond to kitty or any other cute euphemisms to mean "cat". She just respond to Neffie. She will come when she is called but it better involve food. She can be haughty - but does greet company. She is a French Chartreux with beautiful round golden eyes. I think she read the description from the Cat Fancier's web site and decided to live up to it. (Describes them as massive cats, but breed standard says females are to be 10 pounds. Males are the large ones. See http://www.fanciers.com/breed-faqs/chartreux-faq.html.

So for a female who is supposed to weigh in the 10 pound range, my Neffie weighs a whopping 18 pounds. And she is mute. When she tries to meow, her mouth opens but no sounds come out. I know they have vocal cords. But the breed is mute - they just don't talk.

The vet said we need to stop free feeding the cats. (Dry food is always available). With the dry food always available, we split one tiny can of wet cat food a day between our 2 cats. We recently switched to Science Diet light and we think that helped some. We don't free feed the dog, so we decided that after Christmas we would try to move the cats to the dogs's schedule. Alas, the cats have picked up on that schedule and made it their own. This schedule will not allow for the removal of free feeding.
The schedule is:...
1. Dad gets up between 0500 and 0530 hours,
2. Lets the dog out and feeds the dog.
3. Guinea Pig at cage front asking for his breakfast of lettuce, carrots or parsley.
4. Dad gets Charlie, the piggie, his breakfast treat.
5. Dad places the small can of wet cat food on a plate and chops it up.
6. Both cats attack the plate with gusto and Neffie gets the largest share.
7. Peri watches on with sad complacency.

The cats line up outside the bedroom door waiting for dad to get up. If I don't close the door behind me, they wake him up. You would think they were starving to death. So we were planning on how to change them to 2 small feedings a day and keeping Neffie from stealing Peri's food.

Thursday, Alan slept in. He wasn't due at work until 2pm and had a late call Wednesday. So he slept until 9:15 am. Well, he came out of the bedroom to a very very angry Neffie. Our mute, silent French cat, growled and yowled and talked /meowed to him in low threatening tones as he prepared their food. He called me to tell me she was really scary and maybe free feeding may be the best plan after all. He even thinks she put a contract out on the guinea pig. (One more late sleep-in and the piggie gets it). Our cat has been faking it all these years. She has a voice and knows how to use it - menacing to get her way!

So today went okay, woke up to a safe and happy piggie, and cats outside the door. Neffie was very upset again that we slept in - and on a Saturday - how dare we. She meowed and yowled at dad again. So, my life is a comic strip. I live with a combination of Garfield and Get Fuzzy. If I only had the artists talent to draw and write it. The plan is to keep her fat and happy and destructive free.

Oh and BTW, the vet said the guinea pig is overweight and we need to slim him down some. Did you know they screech AKA as wheeking - when they don't get their way. So that will be another story for another day. Hope everyone else's pets are sane and healthy.